I don't know what to do with myself anymore, im losing it. help please?

I have very, very bad anxiety over my appearance, I dont find myself an attractive person. I used to, but the anxiety got worse and has changed my total perception of myself. I am very paranoid that if i do something in life that is bad or i think is bad it is going to come back and haunt me and terrible things are going to happen, like i will get fat or ugly. Its terrible, i would LOVE to be a normal girl and just have fun in life like I used to be. About a month ago, I was feeling really good I recently recovered from depression and I felt noticed by guys, i felt great, I felt like my life was getting back to how to it used to be. Now i feel like complete crap, i dont look or feel good and guys aren't really looking at me. I dont even understand it. The reason I am the way i am is because i was tormented and teased when i was younger so it has made me a complete self concious person today. I hate it, in fact, I want to die. Im serious. Who wants to live a life thinking and knowing crap is going to happen to them, NOBODY DOES. I dont mean to sound shallow but I have not had a boyfriend for around a year, and lost quite a couple of my best friends. Im worried that these thoughts are actually true. You have to agree with me on this.